oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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