all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
