My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
