is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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