Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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