I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
