just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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