apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
