that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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