respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm passing your future prison.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
