man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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