i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
