I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
