I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
