Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
its not stalking. its research.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
