Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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