Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
