dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
