Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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