Where did you get a picture of my penis
Say something about gay babies.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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