I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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