I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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