We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
