Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
