T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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