Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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