I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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