Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
