I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
