yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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