Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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