What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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