She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
