textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
