put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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