then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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