Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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