I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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