I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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