i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I party with great urgency now.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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