My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
