Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
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You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
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I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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