I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
