I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize