so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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