Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
