she takes plan B like it's going out of style
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize