I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
