Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
