ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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