I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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