party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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