Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
