You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
