I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
not ubering you a puppy
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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