He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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