Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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