angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
