I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
