she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I need a beard to bite.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
