North Korea, Best Korea!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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