Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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