I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
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eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
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We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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