you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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