The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
