Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
